If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
