oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Blow job season was short but glorious.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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