i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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