Just mADE A PArabola og urine
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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