Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i think i have herpe
just one?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
