Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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