First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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