Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
