We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
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i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
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I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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