I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
My feet surprised me
Randomize
