I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize