i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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