You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
