We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
