dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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