I'm really into asian looking animals
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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