I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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