I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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