I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
