but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
