you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
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I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
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last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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