walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
