yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
