Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
