i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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