dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
