singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Randomize
