it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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