She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
