why didn't you poke me back
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
