Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize