dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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