garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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