i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
