This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
