if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
