I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My friends, they love my intelligence
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize