i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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