My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
