When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
