If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
