I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
