dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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