At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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