I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Dear god my vagina.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
