allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
