So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
