ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
