what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
My dick has a subreddit
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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