He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
