that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
