Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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