I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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