So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
