i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
How does one acquire holy water?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
