i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
