I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
