My room smells like vodka and shame
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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