Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
