Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
