It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
