Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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