RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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