he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
