And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize