Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
