If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
