so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
