he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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