Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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