It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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