it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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