I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
It was a blind-side dick pic.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
